Fortysix + H

"Alles was wir sind, ist das ergebnis von dem was wir gedacht haben"
... - Bastian Schweinsteiger -

mdthwomp:

Unfriendly reminder that in America it’s reasonable to say an unarmed black kid deserved to be shot six times because he might have robbed a convenience store, but a white kid shouldn’t be kicked off the high school football team just because he violently raped a girl.

(via dontrape)

I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.

—Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S. (via poetryinspiredbyyou)

(via april-polyverse)

farorescourage:

What is Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Dissociative Identity Disorder, or previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder until 1994 when the DSM-IV 4th revised edition was published. The essential feature of Dissociative Identity Disorder is the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently take control of behaviour. There is typically one ‘primary’ personality, and treatment for this disorder is often sought out by this primary alter. Often there are two to four personalities by the time that treatment is sought out, but there is a distinct pattern of more emerging during the course of therapy. The personalities within DID are often as complex as any human you would meet on the street, each having their own speech and behaviour patterns and tics, memories, personal relationships, age, gender, range of vocabulary, and general knowledge. All of these facets determine what the personality will do next.
It’s quite common for the personalities present to be very different and even the opposites of each other in many ways, and the extent of their differences can go so far as having a different dominant hand for writing. It has been known that alternate personalities will have different eyeglass prescriptions (and will complain about wearing the wrong one), medication prescriptions (as they will take themselves to the doctor as well), and may even claim to have allergies to things that the dominant personality does not. It is not entirely uncommon for the personalities to be ‘aware’ of the other ones in the sense that they may have the voices of the others echo in their unconscious - but they will not know to whom these ‘voices’ belong. The number of reported identities can range from as low as 2 to more than 100. Half of reported cases include individuals with 10 or fewer identities. Alternate identities have been seen taking ‘control’ in sequence, one often at the expense of another. Many personalities deny the existence of others, but some personalities have been seen to be extremely critical of or in conflict with another. In rare cases, one or more ‘powerful’ dominant personalities will “allocate time” for the others to expose themselves.

DID is not viewed as conscious deception. The issue for DID is not whether it is real, but rather how it develops and is maintained.

A split in the personality wherein two or more fairly separate and coherent systems of being exist alternately in the same person is very different from any recognised symptoms of schizophrenia.

What are the Symptoms of DID?

  • Gaps in memory which can not be explained by general forgetfulness. These can go from periods of hours to days. All personalities present in DID present this symptom, so gaps in memory are asymmetrical. The more passive the personality is in manifestation, the fewer memories it has. This is in contrast to the more dominant personalities, which will have fuller, whole, more complete memories.
  • If one of the present alters has a tendency for self harm, people with DID will have inexplicable wounds on their body.
  • Rapid blinking, facial changes, changes in voice (tone, depth control) and demeanor, or disruption in the individual’s train of thoughts are all sign of a ‘switch’ in personality.
  • Auditory or visual hallucinations - this is thought to be caused by a non-controlling personality unable to ‘get out’ and control the body, and these often manifest in auditory hallucinations such as hearing orders being given.
  • Less of biographical memory for extended periods of time in childhood and adolescence, for early onset.
  • Substance abuse.
  • Persistent headaches.
  • Sudden phobia onset.
  • Hallucinations.
  • Suicidal ideation and attempts.
  • Sexual dysfunction.
  • Depersonalization.
  • Self-harming behaviour.

Who tends to get DID and what causes it?
This disorder is three to nine times more common in women than it is in men, and can begin in childhood and not be diagnosed until adulthood. Females with DID tend to have 15 personalities on average, whereas males with DID often only have 8 personalities on average. There is an average 6 to 7 year gap from first report of DID symptoms to diagnosis of DID. Several studies suggest that DID is more common in first degree relatives of someone with DID than within the general population. This disorder is often comorbid (co-occurring) with disorders like Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Somatization Disorder.

People with DID have frequently reported a history of severe physical and sexual abuse, most especially during childhood. There is a controversial debate around the validity of these reports, as people with DID are statistically shown to be highly susceptible to suggestive influences, however many of these reports can be confirmed with objective evidence, and as not everyone with sexual abuse in their history develops DID, there is the theory that there is a diathesis which spurs the creation of the disorder. One theory is that people who develop DID have very high levels of fantasy, and that the dissociation from the trauma through fantasy created splits within the persona. Another theory states that DID may be an enactment of learned social roles. This is due to the fact that more alters tend to appear in adulthood and within therapy, typically due to suggestions by the therapist.

It is hypothesized that individuals suffering from DID have an insecure or disorganized attachment style because they were exposed to the chaotic behaviour of their caregiver. A study in Canada confirms that attachment styles has a significant link to rates of dissociative symptom reports. 

How is DID treated?
Treatment for DID is complex and requires heavy use of psychotherapy, where the therapist and the client work in tandem to create a cohesion between all of the personalities if possible.  Psychotherapy will also address the natural issues of anxiety caused by the disorder within the client and will work to prevent the manifestation of a comorbid anxiety disorder. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy which is used most often with sufferers of PTSD but has recently been applied to DID sufferers with positive results. Certain behavioural therapists will go about treating this by only responding to a single personality, though this is generally looked down upon within the psychological community.

All information for this post is based on data from the DSM-IV-TR.

(via writeworld)

Gentlemen. This is what rape culture is like: Imagine you have a Rolex watch. Nice fancy Rolex, you bought it because you like the way it looks and you wanted to treat yourself. And then you get beaten and mugged and your Rolex is stolen. So you go to the police. Only, instead of investigating the crime, the police want to know why you were wearing a Rolex instead of a regular watch. Have you ever given a Rolex to anyone else? Is it possible you wanted to be mugged? Why didn’t you wear long sleeves to cover up the Rolex if you didn’t want to be mugged? And then after that, everywhere you go, there are constant jokes about stealing your Rolex. People you don’t even know whistle at your Rolex and make jokes about cutting your hand off to get it. The media doesn’t help either; it portrays people who wear Rolexes as flamboyant assholes who secretly just want someone to come along and take that Rolex off their hands. When damn, all you wanted was to wear a nice watch without getting harassed for it. When you complain that you are starting to feel unsafe, people laugh you off and say that you are too uptight. Never mind you got violently attacked for the crime of wearing a friggin time piece. Imagining all that? It sucks, doesn’t it. Now imagine you could never take the Rolex off.

—The Wretched of the Earth: On Rape Culture (via pradaroyalty)

(via dontrape)

polyamorousmisanthrope:

cumaeansibyl:

pyrrhiccomedy:

hinoneko:

jonpertwee:

loudmusicandloudersex:

lightningstarborne:

why the fuck wouldn’t you read a book, unless you’re illiterate

This literally made me sad and I just want to go to sleep now

I think it’s because people are so stressed and working all the time. Less college grads read than high school grads — that should tell you something. Capitalism crushes the people’s souls.

Plus, think of the books you have to read for class in high school/college. Unless you really enjoy a certain type of literature (and/or have a really great teacher) a lot of it is going to feel like junk you’re forced to suffer through.
So for quite a few people, their perception of “adult” books is super-dense language and unpleasant subject matter, while the last books they really enjoyed reading on their own terms (like those 500+ installment chapter book series) might not be something they consider appropriate/appealing for people their age.

I’m calling bullshit on this whole infographic. How would they even collect this kind of information? I sure as hell don’t remember seeing any questions about my reading habits the last time I took the US Census. Who are they polling? What’s their sample size? What demographic did they poll? This stinks.
So: “RobertBrewer.org” is the personal website of a Christian pastor. On his own website, he explains that the data is has been attributed to something called ‘the Jenkins Group,’ which is a book publisher, not an independent polling agency, and certainly not an unbiased source of data when it comes to reading habits. Brewer also explains that the Jenkins Group itself distances itself from the statistics: they were informally presented by the owner of the company at a party, and were never actually published.
When I read that, I hear “the owner of a publishing company pulled these numbers out of his ass to impress his friends, but since he’s the boss we can’t just say that,” but draw your own conclusions.

thank you, this is ridiculous
like, just for instance, physically going into a bookstore has little or nothing to do, these days, with whether or not you read books
also maybe a lot of books go unfinished because of Sturgeon’s Law? you know, 90% of everything is crap? maybe people don’t finish the books they buy because they found out the books suck. (most of the time when I don’t finish a book it’s because another book appealed to me more.)
and for real, 80% of families not buying or reading any books doesn’t ring true for me at all. at the absolute minimum there are a lot of families with kids who are reading books for bedtime stories, for school, whatever. more like “80% of families didn’t buy or read books from us”

All I know is that this infographic makes me feel like Reader Georg.

polyamorousmisanthrope:

cumaeansibyl:

pyrrhiccomedy:

hinoneko:

jonpertwee:

loudmusicandloudersex:

lightningstarborne:

why the fuck wouldn’t you read a book, unless you’re illiterate

This literally made me sad and I just want to go to sleep now

I think it’s because people are so stressed and working all the time. Less college grads read than high school grads — that should tell you something. Capitalism crushes the people’s souls.

Plus, think of the books you have to read for class in high school/college. Unless you really enjoy a certain type of literature (and/or have a really great teacher) a lot of it is going to feel like junk you’re forced to suffer through.

So for quite a few people, their perception of “adult” books is super-dense language and unpleasant subject matter, while the last books they really enjoyed reading on their own terms (like those 500+ installment chapter book series) might not be something they consider appropriate/appealing for people their age.

I’m calling bullshit on this whole infographic. How would they even collect this kind of information? I sure as hell don’t remember seeing any questions about my reading habits the last time I took the US Census. Who are they polling? What’s their sample size? What demographic did they poll? This stinks.

So: “RobertBrewer.org” is the personal website of a Christian pastor. On his own website, he explains that the data is has been attributed to something called ‘the Jenkins Group,’ which is a book publisher, not an independent polling agency, and certainly not an unbiased source of data when it comes to reading habits. Brewer also explains that the Jenkins Group itself distances itself from the statistics: they were informally presented by the owner of the company at a party, and were never actually published.

When I read that, I hear “the owner of a publishing company pulled these numbers out of his ass to impress his friends, but since he’s the boss we can’t just say that,” but draw your own conclusions.

thank you, this is ridiculous

like, just for instance, physically going into a bookstore has little or nothing to do, these days, with whether or not you read books

also maybe a lot of books go unfinished because of Sturgeon’s Law? you know, 90% of everything is crap? maybe people don’t finish the books they buy because they found out the books suck. (most of the time when I don’t finish a book it’s because another book appealed to me more.)

and for real, 80% of families not buying or reading any books doesn’t ring true for me at all. at the absolute minimum there are a lot of families with kids who are reading books for bedtime stories, for school, whatever. more like “80% of families didn’t buy or read books from us

All I know is that this infographic makes me feel like Reader Georg.

(Source: vintageanchorbooks)

There are people out there, not all of them men, who believe that a conspiracy is going on. When I speak to them as a reporter, they tell me that that women lie about rape, now more than ever. They lie to damage men and to “destroy their lives”. This is despite the fact that the fraud rate for rape remains as low as ever, and despite the fact that popular culture is groaning with powerful men who have been accused or even convicted of sexual abuse and whose lives remain distinctly understroyed. Men like boxer like Mike Tyson, or singer R Kelly. Men like Woody Allen.

Women and children who bring those accusations, however, risk their relationships, their reputation, their safety. Anonymity in the press is no protection against the rejection of family, friends and workmates. Dylan Farrow is living somewhere out of the public eye, under a new name. We have created a culture and a legal system which punishes those who seek justice so badly that those who do come forward are assumed to have some ulterior motive.